Failing quickly

Hello everyone, I do understand that I post once a millennium, however I suffer from an extreme case of writers block.

I am currently at that point in life where life is pretty much tumbling its own way. The process of graduate Job applications, finding something serious relating to my degree is fighting me. Leaving me to watch endless tutorials on YouTube, making me wish I had the courage to pick up a camera and film.

Through one of these episodes, I came across this video by Patricia bright. Suggesting that follow your passion now, so that if it fails, better for it at your youth than to go through a midlife crisis, or get to age 38 and think  Shit I really don’t want to be here. The Nigerian in me thought this must be a waste of time, as I realized that for me, it’s a consistent battle between politics, The Labour party and the world of cosmetics. I think to myself Ranti, nobody will respect you and your craft when it comes to politics. All your university peers will have gone to high flying positions, utilizing their brains with the lectures they never attended, whilst you paint people’s faces. 

I consistently weighed the options, my parents pressuring me to do a Masters that I am not even qualified for, remaining stagnant in a part time job I had lost love for. But I can testify that pondering, thinking and questioning have left me with a series of workings out with no answer to give the examiner. SO what have I done? Decided to take the plunge and follow (whether it be foolishly), the passion. Make up is something I’m good at, there’s no niche in this market for a babe like me, that I understand, but to be honest with you all, I’m tired of saying ‘I wish’,  ‘I could’ve’ , ‘would’ve’ and  should’ve. Those words have plagued my entire existence. There is a stigma against those obsessed with beauty that they’re not very clever or have much going on for them but nobody says this to those  who have traveled for a year after university.

I have so many of my  female friends smashing glass ceilings, some earning 30K a year already at age 21 being challenged, wearing their T.M.Lewin shirts, Russel & Bromley shoes and  having a crazy amount of savings. Then one day, they’ll come at me with wedding invites and baby showers, and I think where I will be. I understand my vision and where I want to be and sort of how to get there, yet I also think let me just give this a try.

As I write this, I am a now a makeup artist for MACCosmetics, something that 4 years ago I would not have thought could be possible.

Love Ranti <3

Graduation Day

The 14^th July 2016, was the day my parents had been waiting for, a time to finally hang up my picture in the living room to brag to all their friends that their first born Khaleesi, was a graduate. Did they care what I got? What I looked like? Or the fact I was super angry the morning we left for Canterbury. To be frank, I was not excited, I was meh, it was a secret prayer in my heart for this day to SPEED up so we could all go back home and remove our decent Sunday clothes.

However, the preparation did not come without a battle – the dress I ordered from ASOS made me look like a full moon. Which led my crazy self to run around oxford circus looking for a last minute corporate outfit – in flipping River Island and collect smart black shoes from M&S – which basically fractured my feet.The slay, I admit, was lacklustre, I didn’t bother to sew a new weave, wear acrylics or buy new eyelashes.

With a signature red lip and unwolverine’d brows, I managed to look decent at 5:30am for a 10:30 graduation. And screaming at my family for not being ready, when I hadn’t even worn my trousers.

 I think what propelled me, was the fact my whole family came. To see my Dad who dropped me in September to start third year and by grace, pick up me up  in June, despite him being in and out of hospital to then be admitted to Intensive critical care for 4 months and being put in a medically induced coma – which meant me going back to London at odd times, and leading to a whirlwind of emotions and removing interest from my degree.

My mum who was put in the very awkward position, of having to come in the same car as my father, doing it for me despite their bitter relationship all for me to look like a lemon the whole drive. Her constant smile during the day was a reminder of how hard she believed in my non-existent academic abilities, the books she bought me, and raising me through my difficult teenage years singlehandedly.

My brother who is currently in purgatory over further education, to just see me in the gown and sent me an out of character text after the graduation, to say how proud he was of me regardless. And my Einstein sister, who struggled to compliment me as per, after sending her halfway through the day to buy me emergency flats, whilst I was having a Verruca Salt moment.  With my fluctuating emotions, my family still managed to take 500 pictures of my gritted smile on the iPad which I wanted to throw into the canal.

Yet, there is an adrenaline and a strong sense of pride, when your name is being called out to say that you completed this course, with no unnecessary coursework extensions, countless sleepless nights, attending seminars,  the odd absence for a 9am (lol), and your unrequited course bf whooping for you as you think "DO NOT TRIP"as you collect your degree.

 Despite all this, I am thankful to God, That I managed to finish my degree. Not dropping out, when I had all the prerequisites to do so. Meeting my housemates, and making so many friends, the odd enemy – and perfecting my other skills and developing my love for politics.

COLOUR PALETTES

As a person who was given, by God, hooded eyes, I have learnt how to finally adjust my eye shape to keep up with the latest eyeshadow trends.

From the classic  smokey eye, The “spotlight” / “Halo” look and so many others. But these can only be achieved with good products that range from "Drugstore" to "High End"- I’m talking I can’t eat for 2-week purchases. But it’s all for a good cause, looking good.

This week I'll be showing you the colour palettes I love-ish

Sleek - Sunset and Acid - Purchase here

A mixture of Shimmer and Matte they provide the most amazing colour payoff! My number one drugstore eyeshadow brand. At only £7.99

120 Palette from Ebay, £5

CHEAP AS CHIPS. The colour payoff I find not to be amazing, but some of my other makeup junkies swear by it. The best way to get full wear of this is to use a white base primer - I recommend the NYX primer in MILK.

MORPHE 35B - £19.95

Amazing pigment and finish. Some colours might feel chalky, but the majority are buttery and so easy to blend.The packaging needs a bit of TLC though

URBAN DECAY  - Electric palette 

The pigment is UNREAL. All the colours are perfect. It retails at a debit card crushing £38

I'm sending you all mental finances. 

Ranti

Degree Classification and dealing with it

When I first came to Uni, I said to myself for once Ranti let us prove that we can do this, excel and achieve skyrocketing results and find that 1st class, somehow and somewhere. Secretly I knew this was not in my ability. My academic life had been plagued with  B's and C's which did not reflect my Library shifts, (I didn't even get the required grades for University)and somehow my brain just couldn't comprehend how to write that A* paper.

So I humbled my aspirations and said at least a 2:1, happened in the first year, but things spiraled all the way down. Fast forward to today, 20th June 2016. 

I've really beaten myself up, I've  cried, cried and screamed. I'm ashamed and bitterly disappointed in myself. I graduate with a 2:2. 

The third year for me was like being dragged through the streets.

My dad was dying and I was dealing with it, my way, privately. 

I would go to my seminars, participate actively, and try so hard to write an award winning politics essay (that I still don't know how to write) and feedback would be mediocre. I would go to my tutor, my lecturers, everyone. 

I've never killed myself so much for an exam season, practically living in the library trying not to have a mental breakdown so I could prove to myself that right, I can do this and wave away the cloud of "she's just average".

But I have to get over it, deal with life and try not to dwell. I've never dealt with results day with my chin up and never taken the "you should be grateful" rhetoric easy. I said The university will be that last chance I have to excel academically and this fell through. 

I got what I deserved as so did everyone else. Everyone I know has done so well!

Ranti

*disclaimer, everyone has different aspirations, please please do not take this as a dig at anyone who has similar grades to me and this is an immediate reaction*

Glam on the gram

Before I go to bed I check on Instagram to see who blessed us with some serious beauty. The creativity is unreal! These were some of my faves this week!

MakeupbyShayla - OG's of the Gram

JadeLatisha_ A friend, and stunning MUA- Beautiful eyes!

Yarisbeth- Queen of the glow. Her face is stunning even without make up! 

Some Ancient Glam! Hehe. Serving on us!

Skin Perfection This is the base we all seek to achieve

Still searching for a bad make up look from Zendaya, Her brows expose thruths

How could we not include momma?

Alissa.Ashley. Hooded eye champion. Love Love Love her. 

Blonde Fingerwave -Y'all

Youtube This week

Hello wonderful people,

Every Sunday I'll be posting my Favourite YouTubers. Some will be underground that you've never seen before and the popular vloggers!

NikkieTutorials



Nikki, How could I not start off with her, Summer is coming up so that means that dewy glam is in! I love how she contours and uses warm colours on her pale and flawless skin! GLOW QUEEN

Tanya Burr



 Okay, I am not really a fan of vlogs, I usually watch mainly makeup tutorials and the occasional lookbook. But then I saw Maldives, I struggle to understand why I click on places that I'll have to entertain a sugar daddy for.  She captures the beautiful island at its best. Seriously CLICK ON IT and start wasting time on Thomascook!

Samantha Maria - BeautyCrush


 Samantha Maria is one of those guru's that just add, something, we do not know what it is, she's just watchable. I LOVED the videography in this, YouTubers are getting so much better at the complexity of their videos to give their subscribers the best. She used a drone on a black sand beach! GUYS WATCH!

PeakMill


 Peakmill adds that American-Nigerian twang to youtube. She's very original in her personality which I love! Her makeup skills are absolutely flawless in this video, and she isn't a makeup artist but that transformation though. She has a Ph.D. in Wigology! This video continues the golden glam theme. Wasn't a fan of the lipstick, but hey ho!

Sondradeluxe


How is it possible? She makes the application look so easy! I wish I had the skin texture so dewy, she applies the most glow on her face! The one thing about Sondra is that she is so original! Those brows, I mean, literally couture spears. She has a carefree and beautiful personality, and knows how to match colours!


I hope you enjoyed my picks this week!

Rantsssss X

Expression

Another Blog, omg sigh.
Let us just cut to the chase! Right now

I said to myself I need to start developing my own ideas, I absolutely love writing about makeup, beauty and politics. A massive contrast, one sphere is full of colour, and creativity the other contains the nitty gritty on how to manoeuvre society to a place where it caters for everyone despite social background. Both  have a common theme, Expression.

"utterance, declaration, assertion, statement" (Dictionary.com)

Expression, comes in many forms, like making sure your eyebrows are 'fleeky', your lipstick is OP #YASST and your lashes are ready for armageddon  Also, in university where I've come to express myself in politics, I find myself flip flopping between, hardcore labour campaigning for social rights in the Kent rain #OdeToTheLeft #RIPDaddyMarx, running for local council and finding myself trying not to get angry at strangers on the guardian and becoming Kermit

Why These Hands? It all actually started as a joke - Every time I did someone's makeup, I screamed "Yasss't these hands". because I felt like my work was a product of my labour and no one could appropriate it. (I sound like a Marxist)

I will still be writing on Kosodreams http://www.kosodreams.com/ I'm very open to suggestions, and if nobody reads it, I will be happy to say this is something I finally got round to! 

Rantsssss